Ambivalence, Supervision & Change by Louise Frame

Choosing to make a change, even with plenty of options doesn’t come easy, the process of change comes with various challenges, exploration and faith, a belief in ourselves that fits uniquely to us, with all the will in the world, counselling/ supervision, motivational interviewing, discussion and other perspectives from others, the decision lies deep within often fraught with doubt, what ifs and discomfort, for only us to debate and then eventually decide to change.

Often for clients the lifestyle change comes after a specific experience, a moment of clarity, an existential crisis, a rock bottom, driving and or forcing a need for change or what can only often be described as a shift, a feeling, a knowing, which begins the process of re-evaluating life, exploring options and ultimately opting to making change happen.

Even when that change has been decided the journey is seldom straight forward, new awareness follows and new perspectives invite themselves in, which can often create even more overwhelm, the importance of slowing down and continuing to reflect, process and ground ourselves would seem like an essential quality to adopt to overcome the tug that wants to remain well within the comfort zone, within the cozy blanket of familiarity and safety.

The ambivalence would appear to come from the uncertainty, the unknown and the fear of what ifs. A human given to feel reassured, safe and certain, protecting us from change, even when in the midst we are still analysing and ruminating on our doubts, navigating unknowingly the cycle of change for which there is no reverse.  

Only when we can own our decision to move on, really embody the change, when the discomfort of not changing overwhelms us more that the thought of change, that moment of clarity and newfound comfort can we move forward. 

My own recent experience of creating change for other personal reasons and driving factors which really challenged my own values and beliefs about making that change, this has undoubtedly made me consider how my clients must feel and how vulnerable even considering change can make us feel. 

Talking in supervision definitely helped, being able to look objectively at the pros and cons, whilst feeling supported and reassured in any decision making was helpful, the safe space without judgement, just like in the counselling room, reflecting back my thoughts helped to process my feelings and gave me new insight into my motivations and reassurance that I am in the driving seat.  The possibilities remain open and endless.